When teenage daredevil fades

I always measured my life in terms of which grade in school I was in or for the last one year which university semester.

Birthdays for me meant nothing for years and presents were quickly forgotten before the week was over.

Turning 19 last week, however, has made me re-think my usual indifference to the day I was born.

I researched a little on what I was entitled to do when I turned 19 and found there was nothing much as the year is sandwiched between two major milestones, turning 18 and 21.

Last year was something to look forward to as I got my right to vote and get a driving licence.

However, elections and holidays have gone past and with no permanent address in India, I couldn't vote and haven't yet learned to drive.

It bothered me a little but as I thought about it, I found there was no need to hurry at all.

This would be my last teenage year and as much as I would like to be an adult, I will soon be bidding farewell to a very special part of my life.

I've quit researching what new rights I will be entitled to and switched to checking out things I missed out as a teenager.

Re-reading my collection of the Harry Potter series that fascinated me when I was young and may not have the same effect a few years from now is a top priority.

Going through my massive collection of magazines and checking out the five years worth of newspaper clippings to see what interested me as a child will be yet another.

It will also be the year to sort out the huge poem collection that I have, those I collected from schoolmates when we started a poetry club in the final year of school.

It's been two years now and those who had written them would have left school and our grand plans to bring out a book are far from workable.

However, going through all the little things my friends and I tried to accomplish, the posters we put on the corridors during school events - some of which I still have - I realised what I will miss most about being a teenager is the feeling everything in world can be done if you put your heart to it.

I still share the same feeling and haven't lost much of the enthusiasm but the daredevil way I took to responsibility is slowly fading away.

I'm warming up to this new phase but if I could have my way, I would much rather join Peter Pan and his mates in Neverland where I can't be asked to grow up.

¥ Jennifer Gnana is a former Bahrain resident, now studying in Mumbai. Her family still lives here.

Copyright 2010 Al Hilal Publishing and Marketing Group

'When teenage daredevil fades', Gulf Daily News, June 4, 2010, Jennifer Gnana

Don't dismiss teenagers as 'superficial beings'

A few months ago I was at the American Centre, Mumbai, on one of my almost daily stopovers at the library before heading to the hostel. I was in the centre's lift when a couple of students asked me if I had come for the film festival. My answer was 'no' but as they seemed very eager and friendly, I changed my mind and decided to check it out. It was organised by a group of mass media students and was half finished by the time I reached and the competition round had begun. Of the three films I watched, the one that really got my attention, Feelings at Death, walked away with honours and cash prizes in all categories. Inspired by a newspaper report, it explored the theme of suicide through the eyes of a small boy who was curious to know what it would feel like to die. While announcing the results, one of the judges commented that he was astounded by the mind-blowing cinematography, editing and direction. Strangely, he also said he had come away feeling depressed. "Everything I watched was dark and without hope. All of you sitting here are teenagers, aren't you? "You're supposed to be positive and on a mission to save the world. What went wrong? How can you give up hope?" Exploring relatively dark themes through seemingly innocent settings is not a new trend that's followed by teenagers alone. When William Golding's Lord of the Flies was published in 1954, it raked up controversy because of its themes of innocence, its loss and the inherent evil in man. He wrote about a group of British school boys stranded on a paradisiacal island descending into savagery because he was apparently disillusioned with human nature. I once heard a speaker addressing a gathering I was in about the "hopeless" generation he had witnessed of late. In effect, he dismissed the entire human race who will be decision-makers a few years from now as people without minds of their own. There's a huge misconception that teenagers are superficial beings who live just for the moment and care about nothing else. Espousing social causes and some of the offbeat radical things we do honestly are not just teenage fads. I was asked by an older friend the other day if 18-year-olds ever really mean what they say. Yes we do! I don't think there has ever been a time such as this when teenagers actually talk, make decisions and show real changes in terms of action that even world leaders haven't achieved. We may not share illusions about the world being a nice place where all things can be sorted out or that the mission to save the world is workable. However, that doesn't make us apathetic creatures with shallow minds. The past 20 years have seen some major upheavals in world history that have hardened us into individuals that we are. Personally, I don't think dabbling in film noir, writing dark literature or going gothic in music or clothes is a reflection of giving up hope or being morbid. It doesn't mean we're perennial pessimists raging against society and calling for the world to descend into anarchy. It's just that the more aware you are of what needs to be mended and ought to be healed, the more willing you are to reach out and help. Isn't that what the world needs today, a helping hand? ¥ Jennifer Gnana is a former Bahrain resident now studying in Mumbai. Her family still lives here. Copyright 2010 Al Hilal Publishing and Marketing Group

'Don't dismiss teenagers as 'superficial beings'', Gulf Daily News, April 16, 2010, Jennifer Gnana